[2 minute read]

“you’ve been so hard on yourself for so long I don’t think you know how to stop.”

These are the words a therapist told me in college which I’ve grappled with for years.

when I received this advice I thought it meant I’d be taking a step down from achieving my goals, I had to be hard on myself so then I could push myself into working more. Successful people are well disciplined and discipline isn’t pretty.

But oh how wrong I was…

It’s very easy to treat yourself badly with good intent. It’s how we justify doing it to ourselves for so long. But how often do you pause and ask ‘Is how I talk to myself encouraging productivity?’.

---

3 ways positive self talk can help you.

1. Constructive Feedback

If someone gave you overly negative, critical feedback it’d be absolutely useless to you. Your internal monologue works the same way.

By heaping on the ‘tough love’ we’re ruling out the honest and constructive feedback we actually need.

2. Increased Motivation

Just like if someone rudely asks us to do some chores, we’re less likely to want to do the task. So why do we bully ourselves into work?

Don’t just dismiss resistance to work as laziness or procrastination. By listening to yourself and adapting accordingly you may be more productive.

3. Achievable Goals

From making sure your to-do list is manageable in the amount of time you wish to work, to understanding your current skill set, being forgiving to yourself will help you in actively moving towards your goals.

If you no longer fear self-judgement of ‘not being good enough’ you’ve got nothing to loose! Have confidence in your ability and ask for help when it’s needed.

---

Final thoughts.

Learning to stop giving yourself a hard time is an ongoing practice, but one You’ll never stop reaping benefits from.